3 weeks past

I sit at an outside café table, metal, painted red but peeling, circus-like awning, cheapest coffee on 23^rd. Blue Lonely Planet covers scattered all around, held by fellow café sitters, quite a tourist spot I think, full of Cuba guidebooks. Neighboring table of six Canadian men only holds twenty-four empty Buccaneros. Women weave through them, they are younger and Cuban, kissing cheeks, her hands playing games with his, hers holding a beer just bought by his, and suddenly I feel like I am only peeking at Cuba through keyholes, watching exchanges I perhaps should not be seeing. It’s hard not to stare though when sitting alone, when not talking, sentiments of distance moving in fast and now this is all being observed as if through glass, you on one side, world on the other.

A man shuffles over, “¿Porque estas sola? ¿Puedo sentar aqui?” He is older, worn face, lean, strong, young arms. One holds a re-taped appliance box with a homemade handle, the other grips a large container of ice cream, pink, dripping. We don’t talk at first, he eats and I read. Then, I ask his name. He says Estevez, and then asks me mine.

***

I won’t sit long, just long enough to finish my ice cream. I love ice cream, I really do. All kinds. Do you? This is chocolate. I don’t eat ice cream very much anymore though. It is so expensive. Do you know how much this size costs now? 50 pesos! Do you know how much it used to cost? Just 1! I used to get this for 1 peso, now its 50 pesos, and I still make the same amount. I have always lived in Havana, but the food has changed a lot. It has changed a lot in the country, It has changed a lot in the city, too. Change has been happening much faster now.

In Miami, when I went, there was so much ice cream! In February I am going to visit my family in Miami again. All my children have moved there, all my grandchildren are there too. Oh, I miss them! I will see them so soon. When I visited I took them to play outside everyday. Then my family bought large containers of ice cream of all different kinds and I ate so much. I leave in a few weeks to visit again. How long am I staying? Well, for one month. I am old, though, and (lowering voice) can I tell you? I wish I could stay. I love Havana, I have lived here all my life, but old men like me, we need our family and things like this, like ice cream, to make us happy. I am 55. I would like to have these things. If I could stay in Miami I could live with my family, see my grandchildren, and have so much ice cream.